ok deviant just pissed me off i typed up a heart felt journal with my feelings and it gave an error...damn it. ok retry. but not as long....

ok so my inner nerd came out and was watching strek trailers. most brides a week before their wedding would be freakin' out..me I am going to see this movie with my father. but you know a quote really spoke to me (Not the "live long and prosper") "You are capable of deciding your own destiny. The question is which path will you choose."

I don't understand people and the decisions they make. I think people try to hard to be happy. Why can't people just go with the flow of life. You know that song by the fray "how to save a life." I can just kinda relate to that song. You see people making decisions because either they are convinced that they are going to be happy, are trying to force the happiness, or are in denial. They don't realize what they are doing. They don't realize they are pushing away the people that love them more then anything and would take a bullet for them. I have seen this crap too many times. You just wanna sit them down and say "hello? wtf?" but if you sit these people down and try to be honest with them it will most likely end your friendship and they "will say that he's just not the same." I just feel the heartbreak coming on. It is coming from different directions and from different people. For some people it is already here, some I see in denial about it, and for the others I know it is in their future. But it always ends the same. I keep my mouth shut. I would rather take this pain away from my friends then have them go through this. I know things that are going on right now will cause me to loose a friend and as always I will think "where did I go wrong? I lost a friend." I have too big a heart...I am too much like my mother when it comes to these things. I am not saying I don't do stupid things but I am not this bad. I know what happiness is and I never tried to force it. I guess I just have to let people learn their own life lessons. No matter how I know or think it is going to end. I just need to keep moving on, holding on, and marching on. wait. I just put 3 GC songs in one sentence...go me!!

Btw no updates for several reasons...busy with the wedding, all my pictures that need to be edited are on a laptop that doesn't have a power cord, and i think the cell phone company i am working for is sucking out what creativity i do i have