ok deviant just pissed me off i typed up a heart felt journal with my feelings and it gave an error...damn it. ok retry. but not as long....

ok so my inner nerd came out and was watching strek trailers. most brides a week before their wedding would be freakin' out..me I am going to see this movie with my father. but you know a quote really spoke to me (Not the "live long and prosper") "You are capable of deciding your own destiny. The question is which path will you choose."

I don't understand people and the decisions they make. I think people try to hard to be happy. Why can't people just go with the flow of life. You know that song by the fray "how to save a life." I can just kinda relate to that song. You see people making decisions because either they are convinced that they are going to be happy, are trying to force the happiness, or are in denial. They don't realize what they are doing. They don't realize they are pushing away the people that love them more then anything and would take a bullet for them. I have seen this crap too many times. You just wanna sit them down and say "hello? wtf?" but if you sit these people down and try to be honest with them it will most likely end your friendship and they "will say that he's just not the same." I just feel the heartbreak coming on. It is coming from different directions and from different people. For some people it is already here, some I see in denial about it, and for the others I know it is in their future. But it always ends the same. I keep my mouth shut. I would rather take this pain away from my friends then have them go through this. I know things that are going on right now will cause me to loose a friend and as always I will think "where did I go wrong? I lost a friend." I have too big a heart...I am too much like my mother when it comes to these things. I am not saying I don't do stupid things but I am not this bad. I know what happiness is and I never tried to force it. I guess I just have to let people learn their own life lessons. No matter how I know or think it is going to end. I just need to keep moving on, holding on, and marching on. wait. I just put 3 GC songs in one sentence...go me!!

Btw no updates for several reasons...busy with the wedding, all my pictures that need to be edited are on a laptop that doesn't have a power cord, and i think the cell phone company i am working for is sucking out what creativity i do i have

and I know you should be home.. (I know that is not the words but it goes out to my ) However according to Ivy Chicago has many lights on...amazing info right there!!

anyway I can't stop listening to that song since my dear Ivy left me in Va. I catch myself singing it to myself. I feel so ugghh. My Ivy is gone and everybody else is off to bigger and better things. I have decided to not go to Chicago for a while now. I can barely stand living and hour from my mom and some of my friends now. But I won't get started on that because it is stupid and I will cry...

A lot has happened since I last updated. I turned 21 (yet to get drunk), I work at a cell phone call center (tip one: you don't pay your bill we WILL cut off your phone so pay it on time, bitch!!!), thinking about getting married this year coming up...anybody wanna be my wedding planner?? I need to loose like 85 pounds before my wedding so anybody wanna give free lipo? lol

I think I have hit a artistic funk. That is why lack of updates. Plus I think all I do is sleep so nothing ever gets done..I think I have a sleep disorder or an addiction to sleep.

Currently I am sick. I can't talk, yet I have work tomorrow and a doctor's appt. I know ironic I can't talk but talk for a living...I think I over did it yesterday when I worked 9 hours and talked when my voice was straining anyway. My own stupidity. I feel like a mime (dunno if I spelled that right)

I don't know what else to talk about so I will leave you will some words of wisdom from Ivy
"ah... sock puppets and chicken, such a harmful mix"

I have been tagged by I really have been meaning to do this for a looooooong time. better late than never right?


The rules:
- Choose a singer/band/group
- Answer using ONLY titles of songs by that singer/band/group
- Using the title of the song do a dA search and link, or thumb, your fav from the first page

I choose GOOD CHARLOTTE!!

01. Are you male or female?
Riot Girl
[link]

02. Describe yourself.
complicated
[link]

03. What do people feel when they're around you?
little things
[link]
haha do you get it?

04. How would you describe your previous relationship?
victims of love
[link]

05. Describe your current relationship.
seasons
[link]

06. Where would you want to be now?
beautiful place
[link]

07. How do you feel about love?
we believe
[link]

08. What's your life like?
a new beginning
[link]

09. What would you ask for if you had only one wish?
lifestyles of the rich and the famous
[link]

10. Say something wise.
hold on
[link]

I have been staying with my parents at my grandmother's house (temporary for me and them) and she doesn't have Internet. I have been going insane. I have to hear her bitch, I swear she has a form of OCD, and hear about how horrible and slutty my tattoo is on my arm. Plus I am bored and going through DA with drawls....

I got a job yesterday...pending background check. I start training July 28th. I am also most likely moving in FULL time with my man because it will save on time and gas. Plus we are trying to move into a new place asap because our rent is based on income and since I will be working the same place he is the rent will be like $600 a month. I am trying to save to go to school in Chicago so yeah. Haven't applied to Columbia yet because they won't let me yet..I will be applying for the Fall 2009 semester. My best bud was recently accepted!! Go her!!

I entered a local art contest recently...three of my photos. None of the got anything...I knew they wouldn't, especially with professional artists in the contest. However my gangsta' pimp friend got an honorable mention for her church picture (which is bitchin'....yo) [link]
Check it out....

I have entered a few contests on deviant and joined a few clubs.

I try to steal Internet as much as I can...so I will be on here randomly

As some of you might know..I am a comedy fan. I love comedians. I love Saturday Night Live (mostly older ones) and I have a weird, sometimes morbid sense of humor. Most people will sit down with me and watch something old school (1st season of SNL) and they will be like "lets watch something funny...like family guy or something" and even though I might not be laughing out loud (depends on my mood I guess) I really enjoy it. I think people like Steve Martin, Gallagher, Mike Meyers, Dana Carvey, Bill Cosby, John Belushi , Richard Pryor , Jeff Dunham (.com!!) , Mel Brooks, Leslie Nelson, etc. are geniuses. I think most people don't get me and my weird fascination...or even know about it for that matter..I love to quote something and people have no clue what the hell I am talking about.

Which brings me to the point of this journal entry today. The comedy world as lost another amazing comedian. Yesterday George Carlin passed away of heart failure at the age of 71. I have put some quotes in this journal as a tribute to him. I think he was the only man I knew of that cussed more than my dad and grandfather.

"I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately."
"If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?"
"Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity."
"Whose cruel idea was it for the word 'lisp' to have a 'S' in it?"